Garbage House

The buttered cat paradox is a joke paradox based on the tongue-in-cheek combination of two adages:

• Cats always land on their feet.
• Buttered toast always lands buttered side down.

The paradox arises when one considers what would happen if one attached a piece of buttered toast (butter side up) to the back of a cat, then dropped the cat from a large height. In 1993, OMNI magazine announced the winner of Competition #54. The paradox, submitted by John Frazee of Kingston, New York, was the grand-prize winner.

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Many people asked what it was like to spend 16 hours in the home depot. For those who want to know I provide you with a transcript of the journal that I kept during the event. It is raw and unedited so be warned. Due to the state of insanity that I was in on this strange day I take no responsibility for what I wrote. With all that said – enjoy a trip into my mind via my home depot journal. (Thanks to Batman for typing the majority of this out.)

7:00 PM
I need to purchase something to commemorate this day before I leave. I am thinking a block of wood. I will write on it, “16 Hours in Home Depot. June (whatever day it is) 2001, 6 AM- 10 PM. The word boring now has new meaning.” I will staple a picture to it and put it right next to my fenced-in toilet in my room in Poughkeepsie.

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No, seriously. Just read this in its entirety, from the top. Because if you haven’t yet seen “Why never to ask favours from the designers,” from David Thorne, you need to. Right now.

Story goes :

Shannon (the secretary) has lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence…

Read from top to bottom….

(Probably made up but funny nevertheless)

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Order a drink and don’t bother looking interested in anything particular. Chat with a friend if you brought one. Girls will come up sooner or later and start conversations. Then it will be time to choose which one to set your sights on. I recommend you follow these guidelines.

If she looks twenty-two, she’s fifteen.
If she looks fifteen, she’s twenty-eight.
If she looks twenty-eight, she’s over forty.

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